


Unlikely Newcomers

by BoWyatt



Category: Super Smash Brothers, Team Fortress 2
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Mild Language, My First AO3 Post, No Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, does 'fuck' count as mild language?, no beta we die like men, why do people complain about tagging, will tag as we progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-19 02:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18129944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoWyatt/pseuds/BoWyatt
Summary: Some new and interesting faces have been invited to test their might in the famed Super Smash Brothers Tournament. How will these surprise challengers fare on the battlefield? And will they find new friendships in their fellow competitors?  Read and find out!





	1. Masked Mumbling Pyromaniac

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of thing to point out before starting:  
> 1\. The other 8 tf2 mercs will not be appearing as fighters (as of now, maybe) but will be appearing in future chapters, speaking of which...
> 
> 2\. Each newcomer will get multiple chapters focused on them
> 
> 3\. Several liberties have been taken with character move-sets (e.g. Ness using PK Rockin or BotW Link using the Stasis rune) and how some rules in Smash work as a whole
> 
> 4\. This will not be updating on any sort of schedule

  
The RED base was in total chaos.  
  
But to be fair, if you wake up to find someone missing from your team consisting of only 9 (now 8) mercenaries, on the day of a crucial battle, it would make sense to be a ‘little concerned’.  
  
“Pyro? Pyro where hell are you? We got an important battle today!” The teams resident speedster shouted, checking through every room multiple times, as if their masked companion would suddenly reappear in one of them. He had run past Soldier, who was standing by a closet, opening and closing it repeatedly as his ‘contribution’ to the search. Demoman had passed out in the bathroom, engineer was checking security footage, and Sniper was scoping around the perimeter to see if Pyro had wondered outside.  
  
“He has to be around here somevere! Heavy, did you check ze kitchen to zee if Pyro's trying to burn ze base down again?” Heavy didn’t say anything, letting the freshly made sandvich he was currently eating answer for him. Medic groaned while pinching the bridge of his nose and turned to the engineer, as if asking him what he had found. Engie simply shrugged  
  
“I checked the security footage from this morning, Pyro hadn’t left his room at all, and Sniper couldn’t find him through his scope.” Engineer rested his thumb and forefinger on his chin, brainstorming on how to find their masked companion.  
  
His train of thought was interrupted, as the Spy shouted from Pyro’s half-charred half rainbow-colored room “Everyone! Come look at this!” Grabbing the attention of everyone in the base (Even Demo, who was getting past the ‘blackout’ part of blackout drunk.) All 8 mercenaries gathered around what spy had found, partially hidden under a pillow on Pyro’s bed. Scout was the first to speak up.  
  
“A letter? When was the last time Pyro had a piece of paper without freakin’ burnin’ it?”  
  
“Not a letter, Scout, just the envelope it came in and there’s no return address, so we don’t know who sent it and why.”  
  
“Do ya fellas know what this might mean?” Engineer asked  
  
Scout made the first guess “It means-“IT MEANS THAT PYRO HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!” Only to be cut off by Soldiers accusation.  
  
“Now hold on Soldier, that’s”  Engie said, soon realizing Soldier was right for once “……actually what I was about to say, now then, saddle up boys! Let’s go rescue us a Pyro!”  
  
_Meanwhile…_  
————————————  
Flamethrower? Check.  
  
Shotgun? Check.  
  
Flare Gun? Check.  
  
Axe? Check.  
  
Thermal Thruster? Check.  
  
Gas Passer? Check.  
  
Pyro was in the 'Waiting Room', a small practice stage with a sandbag (which has now been burnt to a crisp) for the fighters to practice on. It also included two couches (one of which is on fire) and 2 floating monitors on the sidelines. Pyro gave a satisfied ‘Mmph’ as he checked over all of his equipment one more time. Taking flamethrower in hand and waiting for his cue to enter the teleporter on the sidelines. He let out a huff of what seemed to be excitement. The ding of the teleporter flashing to life grabbed his attention, he stepped on the glowing circle, reminiscing about how the contraptions design reminded him of those built by his hard-hatted friend back in the badlands.  
  
As Pyro felt himself being transported to his first match, he had only hoped he wouldn’t have to fight anyone similar to those blasted Spies, he had his fill of scorching them for a lifetime.  
  
Coincidentally, the combatant in question that would be Pyro’s first opponent shared a lot of similarities with the Spy. He was stealthy, was proficient with knives and pistols, could turn invisible, he even liked to smoke. It’s almost like this match-up was planned.  
  
And it was.  
  
“I’m so fucking clever.” chortled Master Hand.  
  
_Meanwhile, in the Smash Manor/Hotel/Island/General place of residence you see in every other smash fanfic…_  
————————————  
Akira was beat, both figuratively and literally after getting launched out of the ring by Snake. For someone without any sort of supernatural powers he was a force to be reckoned with. Snake had kept himself hidden most of the match with camouflage, only coming out of his hiding spot to ambush Akira or the other fighters with his stun-knife and SOCOM. It was an unnoticed mine had sent Akira flying to his defeat.  
  
He sighed and put those thoughts behind him while making his way to the cafeteria to satisfy his hunger before returning to his dormitory building, which was surprisingly vacant for some unknown reason. Upon his arrival he was called over by Sheik, she was in the same match but was unfortunately knocked out first. She had become an acquaintance to Akira.  
  
“Greetings, Joker. How are you feeling?” Inquired Sheik.  
  
“I’m alright, just little bit bummed we were the first to lose, it’s down to Snake and Greninja now.”  
  
Sheik chuckled “Well, it’s best we don’t beat ourselves up too much over it.”  
   
Before Akira could continue the conversation, the familiar boom of the announcers voice declaring the match to be finished rang from the TV. Snake was unsurprisingly declared the winner. The monitor had cut to black. Then, a familiar sounding siren blared throughout the speaker, the screen now showed an orange line that displayed a message catching everyones attention.  
  
**New Challenger Approaching!**  
  
Sheik as with the rest of the competitors who weren’t occupied looked towards the screen with anticipation. Akira only sighed again.  
  
“Way to rub salt in the wound, I could’ve been the first to fight the new guy.”  
  
_Meanwhile, on the battlefield…_  
————————————  
Snake had heard the sirens as well, he felt the stage undergoing a transformation. The scenery had changed from the lush scenery of battlefield to that of a desert wasteland, atop a wooden platform with train tracks. He saw there was a small platform under the one he was standing on leading to a small curve of land facing the blast zone. It was tradition that many arenas were inspired by locations in the home worlds of the fighters, it make Snake wonder who he would be fighting. He then felt himself being magically rejuvenated in preparation for the ensuing battle.  
  
Pyro flew into view with the thermal thruster and landed on the side of the opposite to Snake. He pulled out his homemade flamethrower while snake drew his trusty SOCOM.  
  
“A flamethrower huh? Can’t say I haven’t tried those myself, but not really my cup of tea.” Reminiscing to the time he torched Big Boss alive with nothing but a can of hair spray and a lighter.  
  
Pyro responded with a nothing but mumbling gibberish, sounding like “Mmmphya harrgh mrgha hrghgph!"  
  
“Come again? Your mask is muffling your voice, I can’t understand a thing you’re saying.”  
  
 Pyro answered with an equally as unintelligible “Murr hurr mphuphurrur, hurr mph phrr."  
  
Snake only sighed “Forget it, we’re here to fight, not talk, get ready!”  
  
Both mercenaries stared the other down in anticipation as the announcer did his thing.  
  
_**3!…**_  
  
_**2!…**_  
  
_**1!…**_  
  
_**GO!!!**_  
  
Switching from flamethrower to flare gun, Pyro had let off a shot sailing towards Snake. The flare detonated mid flight right in front of Snake, burning his hands slightly and launching the SOCOM off the side of the ring. He was shocked, but quickly came to his senses as he saw his masked assailant charging at him whilst spraying flames. Muffled cackles could be heard over the sound of the incoming inferno. Snake rolled backwards to gain some distance and armed himself with his Nikita missile launcher.  
  
_‘You're right where I want you!’_  
  
He let a missile loose towards the charging Pyro without even having to remotely steer it. But much to Snake’s surprise, Pyro was more than prepared for this, and blasted the incoming missile with a burst of compressed air from his flamethrower, turning the projectile around and heading right towards Snake. Too shocked by the figurative bitch-slap to the laws of physics to react in time, the missile found its mark right in the middle of Snake’s torso, sending him flying off the side of the wooden platform. He grabbed the edge of the lower platform just in time to avoid the blast zone.  
  
_‘Shit, that was close, guess keeping my distance with that is a no-go.’_  
  
Pyro landed on the lower platform, letting out a seemingly annoyed huff and readied his flamethrower again. Snake new that getting a taste of those flames would be bad news, but his SOCOM was long gone and the Nikita would prove to be more of a liability than an asset. He was reduced to his land mines and Stun Knife now. Deciding to take a more calculated approach, snake activated his camouflage, seemingly disappearing.  
  
Pyro was probably thinking something along the lines of ‘not this shit again’. Luckily for him, making invisible people very un-invisible was one of his specialities, and promptly started spraying his flamethrower in every direction.  
  
_‘Just what the hell is this guy thinking? Is he just hoping that setting everything on fire will reveal where I am? This is shaping up to be more of a chore than I thought, I can’t safely approach him without being toasted.’_  
  
He waited for just the right moment to strike, pulling his stun knife from its holster and charging at the Pyro, he only managed to get halfway towards is target as Pyro had pulled out a large canister and thrown it on the ground. It let out a horrendous cloud of green gaseous liquid that soon coated Snake’s entire body. Not wanting to risk being poisoned he distanced himself. Whilst coughing  
  
_‘Gross, what is this stuff?'_  
  
Taking a whiff of what just covered him, he came to a grave realization that it wasn’t meant to harm him (yet), just give away his location, he may have been invisible, but that didn’t help the fact that it was made pointless by the liquid dripping off his person. Then there was the realization of what he was actually soaked in.  
  
“Gasoline!?”  
  
He felt himself being nudged in the chest by the flamethrower now at point blank range. Snake and Pyro locked eyes, sorta (Snake was still invisible and Pyro’s eyes were obviously obscured by his mask.) Only one thought ran through Snake’s mind at that very moment.  
  
_‘Oh, Shit.’_  
  
Pyro had first made Snake felt the full force of his flamethrower, followed with an onslaught of strikes with his axe, then launching him into the hair with a compression blast. He drew his flare gun and as the finishing blow, shot the already flaming Snake midair, sending him careening into the blast zone.  
  
**GAME!!!!!!**  
  
_Meanwhile, back in the Cafeteria._  
————————————  
**“And the winner is…..  The Pyro!!!”**  
  
Akira, Sheik, and the crowd that had gathered to watch the match had various reactions to the undoubtedly brutal and painful loss Snake had just suffered at the hands of this masked mumbler. Some were wincing at the idea of being scorched like that while covered in gas, others were already feeling uneasy at the idea of having to fight this new fire-loving adversary in the future. Some were even disappointed the match wasn’t longer (namely the villains), and others were cheering on the brutality shown (also the villains).  But Akira had his own say on the matter  
  
“You know what? I take it back, I’m glad I’m not the first one to fight them.”  
  
“Well, you never know if you’re going to be the second.”  said Sheik.  
  
What followed were the opinions of many fighters who had seen the spectacle.  
  
“Wow, that was certainly… h-horrifying.” Stuttered pit  
  
“Afraid of getting your wrings burnt to a crisp, Pitstain?” Jeered Dark Pit.  
  
“Hey, he might burn yours off first!”  
  
“…Shit.”  
  
Zelda put her finger to her chin, “The Pyro? Is that some sort of title? It doesn’t sound very reassuring.”  
  
“Meh, my flames are way stronger. But I like his viciousness” Bowser proclaimed.  
  
“It seems he came well prepared, what other vicious plans could they be hiding behind that mask?” Pondered Male Robin  
  
Wolf sneered in response, “Plans? Seems to me the lunatic was just setting stuff on fire.”  
  
Meta Knight glared at the screen, “….My mask is cooler….”  
  
_The Next Day…_  
————————————  
Pyro was walking up to the entrance of the lavish place of residence for all the Smash participants. He was holding a brochure that doubled as an interior map meant to show where everything was, but to him it would just be something to be something to burn later. He didn’t bother knocking and pushed through the doors. In the main lobby sat several smashers, Pit stooped his conversation with Link to make a break for it, preferring his wings stay un-cooked, Toon Link, Ness, and Villager just stared at Pyro with childlike curiosity. Bowser, who was lounging on one of the couches, decided to get up and approach the newcomer, putting his scaly clawed palm out in greetings in hopes of recruiting a new ally, maybe someone to join the (not)-official ‘Villains Club’.  
  
“Hey you, mask guy! I saw your match, you seem pretty ferocious for a newbie, how about you come sit at the villain table during lunch?”  
  
Pyro just gazed at Bowser, the empty, soulless lenses of his mask starting right through him. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it (or burn it).  
  
The children kept looking at the one-sided exchange, Pit watched fearfully from his hiding spot behind a potted plant far too skinny to actually hide him, expecting Bowser to get torched on the spot, Bowser’s expression turning from expectant to nervous. It all cultivated in Pyro responding with a ‘Mmph?’ And walked past the Koopa King, seemingly uninterested in what he had to say.  
  
“Um…. well… uh… good talk?”  
  
Snake was sitting on the balcony by himself, taking in the afternoon air while simultaneously taking in the chemical filled nicotine of his current cigarette, pondering on how to handle the new foe that he was soundly defeated by yesterday. He hadn’t noticed that his current cancer-stick was almost entirely used up, he let out a grunt of minor annoyance and reached for his box of smokes and lighter. Putting the cigarette between his lips and bringing up his lighter to the end of the stick and flicking it on, he hadn’t even flicked the lighter off before hearing a fascinated muffled hum behind him.  
  
Snake whipped his head around and saw the fellow mercenary staring intently at him, way too close for comfort.  
  
“AAAAAGH!” Snake fell out of his chair, dropping his still lit lighter on the floor.  
  
“W-what are you doing here? You can’t just sneak up on someone like that!” He would never admit it, but he felt somewhat ashamed that someone (who was in a bright red jumpsuit nonetheless) managed to get the jump on HIM.  
  
Pyro turned his attention from Snake to the lighter, calmly walking over and picking it up and proceeding to flick it on and off, letting out a giggle of excitement.  
  
“Hey! Give that back you weirdo!” Snake stomped over and snatched the lighter out of Pyro’s hands.  
  
“Mmph?” Pyro tilted his head, now staring intently at the cigarette still lit in snakes mouth.  
  
“So what’s your deal? Are you just obsessed with fire or something?” Snake wasn’t expecting a coherent response. He was half-right, getting an affirmative ‘huff’ from the masked merc.  
  
“Hmph, fine, if you’re so interested you can play with this or something, but be careful, I don’t want to be held responsible for you burins this place down.” Snake handed the lighter back, Pyro intently took it and started flicking it on and off again.  
  
"Mhnk nhya mhph." Pyro joyously responded  
  
“I’ll take that as an ‘ok.’” Snake grunted, he decided that if he wasn’t going to use his lighter to smoke, he could at least use it to make a new ‘friend’.  
  
_Later..._  
————————————  
Akira was making his way up towards the balcony, thinking a little star-gazing would be nice before turning in for the night. He paused at the doorway to see Snake, still lounging in a chair watching Pyro, sitting in a cross legged position intently observing his new ‘toy’, still repeatedly flicking it on and off.  
  
“Uh…. what’s-“  
  
“Don’t ask.”


	2. Masked Mumbling Pyromaniac II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What antics has our favorite masked mumbler gotten into since his debut?

It’s been a few days since Pyro was fully situated into his new living quarters in the small town where all the fighters were staying. He took the room next to Joker’s in the 5-person dorm building he no longer had all to himself (not that Joker was thrilled about it, as his new and only neighbor conversed with arson instead of words and was frankly a little terrifying). Needless to say, ever since his victory over Snake, many of the fighters had formed their own opinion of the pyromaniac in the short span of time. (Mostly negative)  
  
_The Dining Hall_  
_——————————_  
Pit was planning on getting a bite to eat before going to the office building to schedule his next match  
  
**Was.**  
  
Unfortunately for him, all of that was put to a screeching halt when none other than Pyro waltzes in to the dining hall, probably here to order food and subsequently burn it to a crisp, much to the chagrin of the hired chefs. Pit let out a strangled yelp, dashing from the counter before the cashier could give him his food and change. He slipped under a table covered by a long tablecloth, hoping that it would hide him from the mercenary. That is until he found none other than Bayonetta, the OTHER fighter Pit’s been scared shitless of since the last tournament hiding with him.  
  
“AAH-mmph!!!” Pit tried to scream but his mouth was quickly muffled by Bayonetta’s hand  
  
“Hush boy! You’re not the only one trying to steer clear of that…. fiend!” Bayonetta whisper-shouted  
  
Pit, whose mouth was still covered, muffled again into Bayo’s hand questioningly  
  
“Why you may ask? Well my clothes are made of my hair, so any fire is a big problem for me, and our masked friend here seems to be obsessed with anything flammable, see the problem?”  
  
Pit responded with a muffled “Oooooooh”  
  
“Now love, I know you’re already frightened of me as well, but we should at least find some common ground and agree on avoiding that monstrosity.”  
  
Pit sighed and muffled “okay” into Bayo’s hand, wondering why the hell she’s still covering his mouth.  
  
It was then both heard a strained yelp of fear and the approaching footsteps of someone else. Both braced for Pyro to find them only for Dark Pit to duck under the tablecloth they were sharing. A look of regret instantly crossed Dark Pit’s face the moment he entered.  
  
Pit chuckled awkwardly “Hehe… kinda cramped in here isn’t it?”  
“I will shove you out from under here if you don’t can it, Pitstain” Dark Pit grunted  
  
“Okay! Okay! Geez, just thought we could bond over hiding from a maniac.”  
  
“Hush boys, I think he’s gone we can finally get out of here!” Bayonetta exclaimed, now at normal volume again  
  
Pit gasped “That means he’s gone off to torch something or someone else! Who knows what misdeeds that monster could be up to?!”  
  
_Peach’s Dormitory_  
_——————————_  
Tea parties were a common occurrence at Peach’s quarters, and each one was different in their own way. There were usual guests like Daisy, Rosalina, Zelda, the Mario Bros, and even Samus from time to time. But her little gatherings were no stranger to more… unorthodox guests being invited. This was one of those cases.  
  
**Ding-Dong**  
  
Zelda finished sipping her tea cup and set it back on its small platter “Oh, who could that be?”  
  
“Oh, just the extra guest mentioned earlier, they seemed to be really into joining us!” Peach got up and made her way out of the room, the anticipation of who the surprise guest could be hung in the air.  
  
Daisy picked up the kettle and poured herself another cup “You think it’ll be that masked guy who joined the tournament a few days ago? Maybe we’ll see his face!”  
  
Samus snorted “As if, he’s probably the last person who’d turn up for a frilly little tea party. I’m not to sure about him yet though, he sort of remind me of Dark Samus, gives me the creeps a little.”  She shivered, thinking about he havoc her doppelgänger and he could wreakack if they became buddy-buddy through some miracle.  
  
Zelda chuckled “He’s actually quite friendly! He seems to be fascinated in anyone who uses fire of any sort. The other day we was watching me practice using Din’s fire!”  
  
“That doesn’t sound to reassuring, Zelda.” Samus states.  
  
“Look who I broooouuught!” Peach cooed from the hallway, entering the room with the abominable mercenary in question trailing behind her while giggling excitedly, still fully dressed in his flame retardant suit, oxygen tank and mask included. Samus almost spit out her tea.  
  
Samus snapped her head towards Daisy “Good going, you jinxed us!” She said under her breath.  
  
Daisy nonchalantly sipped her tea “Eh, I’m not that surprised, Peach has a habit of attracting danger without knowing.”  
  
Peach grabbed the necessary dishes and silverware for the guest. “I’m sure both of you by now have met Pyro!”  
  
“Define ’met’” Samus muttered.  
  
Pyro muffled something, catching Peach's attention, he pulled out a bouquet of flowers  _were on fire_ from god knows where.  
  
“Oh how sweet of you!” Peach took the flowers from him without a second thought despite them being _on fire_. “I’ll put these in a vase immediately!” Peach hurried out of the room, and immediately came back in with the flowers (which are still on fire) in a beautiful pink vase. She set it in the middle of the table where everyone was eating. The scent of burning flowers filled the room. Samus, Zelda, and Daisy could only watch in half-horror and half-fascination at the Princess’ and arsonist’s antics.  
  
Pyro sat cross-legged across from Samus and next to Zelda, pouring himself a cup of _gasoline_ straight from a canister that, like the flowers (which are STILL on fire), came from God knows where.  
  
“Oh, I see you like your tea strong, don’t you?” Peach asked innocently.  
  
“Mmm-mmmh”

  
“Hmmm, I see! Would you like a slice of cake?”  
  
“Mhh-mmph!”  
  
“Very well, coming right up!”  
  
Peach and Pyro continued ‘chatting’ like it was the most normal thing in the world, Daisy, seemingly use to her best friend’s knack for hanging around clearly dangerous folk, watched on, very amused. Peach sliced Pyro a piece of cake and set it on a small platter. Samus was on edge, feeling as though Pyro would burn the house down any moment now. She looked him straight in the ‘eye’ questioningly, then looked down to his slice of cake which had already had a bite in it.  
  
“Huh?” Samus thought she was seeing things (Or snake had used his camouflage to sneak in and discreetly sneak a bite of cake, again.)  
  
Now Zelda was conversing (or attempting to) with the mercenary “So Mr. Pyro, what did you do back in your own world?”  
  
"Heh thubba theh, wohha, mmph hudda mm mmph!”  
  
“Oh, a mercenary? Samus here is in a similar line of work as a bounty hunter, I think you two will get along swimmingly!”  
  
“W-what?” _‘ZELDA DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE’_ Samus mentally exclaimed. Pyro was now starting at her, the lenses of his mask like an empty void there’s no way out of, Samus tried to break eye contact and looked down at his slice of cake which now had a 2nd bite out of it.  
  
‘Again!? How does he keep doing that!?’  
  
Samus looked up again, Pyro was still staring at her, Peach, Zelda, and Daisy had taken to talking about something else. “Uuuh… Hi?” She decided that if she had… backup then she can at least to try to converse with him as easily as Peach did. Pyro stared on, seemingly unamused. Pyro mumbled something and cut himself another slice with a _bloodied axe wrapped in barbed wire_ , unbeknownst to Peach and the others, Samus looked at his place again, and what was left of his cake slice was now a smoldering pile of crumbs. Pyro let out what seemed to be a muffled small burp and mumbled what was likely an “excuse me”, and somehow took a ‘sip’ of his gasoline filled teacup through his mask  
  
There was a knock coming from the entrance of Peach’s dorm down the hallway, Peach got up “Oh, it must be Mario! He must’ve finished his match by now.” She waltzed down the hallway out of view. Pyro was pouring himself another cup of gasoline. He noticed that the flowers finally stopped burning, bringing his hand towards the center of the table above the vase, he waved his hand and the burnt bouquet was set aflame again. Samus spit out her tea.  
  
_‘Okay, who or what the actual fuck is this guy.’_  
  
Zelda and Daisy, somehow still not worried about the walking fire hazard casually having gasoline-tea with them, were impressed instead of shocked. Daisy spoke up first “WOW! That’s a pretty neat party trick you got there Pyro! Is it magic or something?” Zelda seemed even more impressed, probably pleased about another tried-and-true pyromancer joining the competition, despite the circumstance.  
  
“I’m back!” Peach announced, “And I brought some new company!” Mario and his green-clad brother walked into the room, Samus noticed Mario tensing up a bit upon seeing Pyro, and mouthed a ‘Mamma-Mia’ upon seeing the burning bundle of sticks (because they could hardly be called flowers anymore) Luigi entered right after, uncharacteristically upbeat, he waved to  to Daisy who enthusiastically returned the gesture with a blown kiss, but Luigi stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing Pyro. And we all know how Luigi responds to anything that could possibly be perceived as scary.  
  
**“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”**  
  
Luigi bolted out of the room like his life depended on it (and depending on how you look at this, it probably did) Mario, Peach, Daisy, and Zelda only sighed, all being very used to the green plumbers antics by now. “Oh dear me, I probably should’ve told Luigi about our new guest!” Samus was used to Luigi being scared by the smallest of things, but this time she could sympathize with him. Mario stepped towards Pyro cautiously put out a friendly hand towards him “Don’t-a-take it personally Mr. Pyro, Luigi has-a-always been a little… jumpy around-a-new people. He’ll be-a-back soon. I’ll-a-go fetch him now!” Pyro took the handshake, mumbling something enthusiastically. When his hand left Mario’s Samus swore she saw scorch marks on his glove.  
  
Samus decided she would use her upcoming match she had today as an excuse to make an escape before things got more hectic. Coughing awkwardly to get everyone’s attention “Oh, that reminds me! I have a match very soon!” Zelda looked back towards samosa “That so? In how long?”  
  
Samus wanted to make it sound like she needed to leave immediately “Uh….. 5 minutes!” (It was actually 50). She gulped down the rest of her now cold tea. “Tell Luigi I said hi for me!” She made her way to the door “And thanks as always for the food as always Peach.” At this point she sounded a bit frantic. Peach, still unaware of it all kindly responded “Of course! And you’re welcome to come for treats anytime, Samus.” Once she was out of sight she bolted towards the door at inhuman speeds. Once outside she saw Mario consoling Luigi.  
  
“It’s-a-fine Luigi! He can’t be too bad if Peach invited him over. He even uses fire like us!” Mario said encouragingly to his younger brother.  
  
“You said the exact same thing when she invited Ridley of all people over!” Samus cringed, she vividly remembered Peach inviting Ridley over for tea during the lunch rush not too long ago. Surprisingly enough he accepted, maybe he liked tea? Needless to say Samus took a raincheck for that particular get-together. She decided she would go to do some light-training before her match to take her mind off things.  
  
_Later That Day, in the ‘Villains Club’ (AKA Bowsers Dormitory)_  
_——————————_  
Ganondorf groaned in obvious boredom “Are you sure he’s gonna show? Every time you tried talking to him he seemed more interested in the fire that comes out of your mouth instead of words.”  
  
“QUIET! I know he’s coming, you people are just impatient.” Bowser huffed, a puff of flame coming from his nostrils, not catching the ‘You’re one to talk’ muttered by Ridley  
  
**Ding-Dong**  
  
Bowser perked up “SEE? I told you guys!” He made his way to the door, opening it to the pyromaniac for all to see. Dark Pit scooted closer to Mewtwo and away from Bowser, Ridley, and Incineroar, knowing that Pyro would be the most interested in them given their abilities to conjure fire. Pyro made his way into the room without a word and sat cross legged on the floor. Staring at the intense game of ‘Risk’ the villains were playing (most of whom were probably cheating at in some way).  
  
“I knew you’d show, you’re prime villain material! I’m sure you’ve met everyone here by now.” Bowser seemed a bit too excited, maybe he was happy he found someone who didn’t constantly back-talk him like the other villains. Mewtwo focused on the mercenary to read Pyro’s mind, but upon viewing the mercenaries morbid thoughts his eyes went wide in fear. It was an expression nobody thought the genetic Pokemon could express. Him and Dark Pit looked at each other and nodded, scooting as far away from the abominable arsonist as possible.  
  
Instead of listening to whatever the Koopa King was rambling about, Pyro’s focus was shifted solely on two particular inhabitants, Dark Samus and the potted Piranha Plant. Pyro brushed past the totally-not-cowering Dark Pit and Mewtwo to sit with them in the corner of the room. Pyro started playing with the razor-toothed plant like it was a harmless pet much to everyone’s shock. Dark Samus acknowledged his presence with a stare, it’s emotionlessness only matched by Pyro’s. Pyro and Dark Samus started conversing with muffled mumbles and alien-sounding screeches, both stopping to laugh about something unknown to the others, both laughs were haunting in different ways. Piranha Plant seemed to be enjoying it’s newfound company. It seems the 3 had formed somewhat of a clique in this short span of time.  
  
“So, does anyone want to move to another room and let them to their thing?” Dark Pit said, hoping it wouldn’t make him sound like a pansy (which it did)  
  
“Y-yeah…. Maybe that’d be for the best…” Bowser sounded defeated, saddened by the fact that a new member of the Unofficial Official Villains Club™ was more interested in conversing with some creepy alien and his pet plant than him.  
  
_The Next Day during Breakfast_  
_——————————_  
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Samus groaned, running her hands through her hair.  
  
“Mm? What is it Samus?” Snake said, mouth half-full of bacon and eggs, wondering why the bounty hunter could be upset about despite already having her morning coffee.  
  
“Look, I knew Pyro reminded me of someone.” she said, pointing to the table surrounded by other tables that were unsurprisingly vacant. It’s only habitants being Pyro, Dark Samus, Piranha Plant, and…. Villager? She always knew something was off about the little fella.  
  
Snake chuckled, probably already used to his former opponents antics by now, “Well, at least he’s making friends.” And went back to enjoying his breakfast.

 _Meanwhile, In the RED Base_  
_——————————_  
“Everyone! Come lookie-here!” Engineer’s voice rang through the halls of 2forts underground intelligence room. “I think we can finally rescue Pyro!” It had been almost a week since the disappearance of their masked teammate, and RED was suffering for it. Without Pyro, Who could reflect oncoming rockets and grenades? Who would check for those annoying sneaky frenchman? And who would keep the engineer company? Work on finding Pyro began immediately, engineer stayed up day and night figuring out the origin of the letter and how it could lead to Pyro’s rescue.  
  
The other 7 mercenaries filed into the room, varying levels of excitement between all of them, Sniper for some reason looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his skull from how intense he was looking, while Spy looked like he couldn’t care less. Scout ran up excitedly and looked at the contraption Engie had built. It looked like he average teleporter with several more bell’s and whistles attached to it. “Holy crap! Is this gonna take us to where Pyro is?” Scout reached out to touch the glowing machine but his bandaged hand was smacked away by engineers gloved one.  
“Something like that boy, I analyzed that letter and traced back the….” Engineer continued his long-winded explanation about dimensions and such that the team couldn’t bother to listen to (and I couldn’t be bothered to actually write it) Soldier haphazardly shoved Scout aside and got the attention of his brothers-in-arms. “MEN! BE PREPARED, FOR TODAY WE VENTURE INTO UNKNOWN ENEMY TERRITORY, WE WILL TAKE BACK OUR TEAMMATE AND KILL ANY STUPID ALIENS WHO MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE ABDUCTED HIM!” The mercs responded with their own round of battle cries.  
  
“HERE I COME” Heavy shouted, excited to mow down new foes.

  
“Horrido!” Medic followed with a German war cry.  
  
“Have at ‘em lads!” Demoman, surprisingly not black-out drunk for once, shouted with vigor.  
  
“Shall we gentlemen?” Spy said calmly, but his teammates knew he was itching for some action underneath his cool demeanor.  
  
**“YEAH NOW I DON’T HAVE TO TURN AROUND EVERY 5 SECONDS TO CHECK FOR THOSE BLOODY MOTHER-FUCKING SPIES!!!”** Sniper yelled, several octaves higher than heavy or soldier ever were, clearly ecstatic that the resident spy-checker would soon be back with them. All the mercs turned to face the normally laid back marksman, shocked yet not-shocked at his sudden enthusiasm.  
  
“Uuh… yeah!” Scout awkwardly broke the silence, “We’ll show those alien chuckleheads whose boss!”  
  
Engineer grabbed his shotgun and wrench, grinning maniacally “Saddle up boys, now it’s time we really rescue us a Pyro!”

 

_**To Be Continued.......** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wew... this took longer than expected, thank you so much for your hits and kudos, I hope to keep a more solid update schedule in the future. The next chapter will focus on our 2nd newcomer. If you have any constructive criticism or writing prompts for already featured characters, please feel free to leave them in the comments. 
> 
> P.S.: There is no specific 'pattern' for what type of chapters gets released, I had intended on releasing the 2nd newcomer's debut first but the ideas for Pyro's 2nd chapter came to mind first.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading till the end! Criticism is greatly appreciated
> 
> I unfortunately am not willing to take suggestions for newcomers, mainly because It would be difficult to write a chapter with a character I'm unfamiliar with, and putting out a chapter without knowing them well enough to have an idea of how they would fight/interact with others would not be doing that character justice
> 
> EDIT: I just made some small changes, but to those waiting for an update, I am now concurrently writing Pyro's 2nd chapter and the introductory chapter for the next challenger, thanks you for your kudos and bookmarks.
> 
> P.S. Anyone who knows where the waiting room stage is from gets a cookie :)


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